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Photo by Sasha • Stories on Unsplash

When we face adversity, we have a choice; we can avoid it, or we can learn from it. In situations where we find ourselves bothered or unhappy, instead of turning away from it, we can take these moments as opportunities and see what we can extract and learn. By doing so, we work on building our resiliency and become mentally stronger.

Sometimes it’s overwhelming to process complicated issues, so it feels more comfortable making changes that allow you to avoid dealing with the problems. …


How it happened and how I recovered.

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Photo by Lina Trochez on Unsplash

Recently, a close friend of mine and I decided to part ways. It’s been an absolute heartbreaking experience, but I’m genuinely grateful for everything that happened.

I wouldn’t say we were toxic people, but instead, the relationship behavior became toxic. It’s been ten months, and I’ve had some time to reflect and learn a lot about myself as well as parts of the friendship that I didn’t see before.

When we first met, I remember feeling like the stars aligned for us. We quickly connected in sharing our stories and being vulnerable with each other. We had a similar sense…


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Photo by Nick Fewings on Unsplash

1. Be grateful

Don’t forget to appreciate what you have; one day, you may not have it anymore.

Celebrate the small wins.

2. Understand why you do what you do

Don’t follow the herd mentality. Break the thought pattern of this is how we’ve always done it.

3. Keep learning

The more we learn, the wiser we become. Keep finding ways to expand your knowledge through reading books, blogs, research papers, or online articles.

Invest time in thinking about how we think. Learn more about our cognitive biases and mental models.

4. Build self-confidence

Self-confidence starts with you, be yourself and keep working hard. You will attract others. Don’t seek approval or validation from others. …


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Photo by Steve Halama on Unsplash

Being assertive is more than a communication style; it’s a behavior and a way of thinking.

Communicating is how we connect with people. How we speak is influenced by how we think. It’s essential for us to feel understood; otherwise, we become frustrated, and our relationships suffer.

Learning how to be assertive enables us to have an honest conversation with others while also preventing adverse effects on our relationships. It allows us not to feel guilty about what we want to say. It removes the fear and concerns over how we might say something or how the other person thinks…


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Photo by Paola Chaaya on Unsplash

Emotions are complicated. They have many layers and depths. It’s easy to feel overwhelmed when we don’t understand why we feel the way we do. It’s often easier to avoid addressing our emotions than to come at them head-on.

When we don’t process our feelings, we accrue emotional debt. We let the emotions stay buried by suppressing them deep within ourselves. Hanging on to unresolved emotions in this way has negative consequences for us, because, at some point, they creep back in and affect our behavior.

Holding on to emotional debt can lead to jealousy, insecurity, over-attachment, low self-esteem, or…


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Photo by Francesco Gallarotti on Unsplash

Can you discern the difference between being in control of your thoughts or letting your thoughts control you? There are three categories in how we think that I describe below: active, reactionary, and passive. This article focuses primarily on how our passive thoughts can negatively impact our minds and our experiences.

Active thoughts

They are effortful, intentional, and are at the forefront of our minds. They usually focus on using logic and reasoning to problem solve or make rational decisions.

Reactionary thoughts

A reaction prompts reactionary thoughts. It could be anything from self-awareness to senses triggering in your mind such as hunger, or observations…

Estelle Peterson

Female software engineer. Love to learn and think about the hard questions.

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